Aftermath
by Queen's Own
Summary: Ever wondered what happened in the few days after Alanna's 17th birthday? RR please, NO FLAMES!
1. Alanna POV

Summary: This is pretty much a fic about the morning after Alanna's seventeenth birthday from both Alanna and Jon's POV. One Chappie for each person.  
  
Disclaimer: I own the books on my bookshelf, but I do not own the ideas in them. So, I don't own these characters.  
  
'Thoughts' "Words"  
  
Alanna  
  
The first thing she noticed when she woke up was that she was not wearing anything at all beneath the covers. The second thing was that there was someone's arm draped across her stomach. She jolted awake and, with a start, realized that she was not in her room. 'What happened?' she wondered, her sleeping mind still loath to grasp the events of the night before. 'It was her seventeenth birthday- oh.' She sat up and looked next to her. After remembering the -interesting- events of last night, she was not at all surprised to see her knight-master, Prince Jonathan, sleeping next to her. 'This is a nice birthday present', she thought wryly. Then, worried 'what will he think when he wakes up to see his squire sleeping next to him?'  
  
Deciding to solve that problem before it became an issue, she slipped out of bed, gathered her clothing scattered on the floor, and slipped through the connecting door into her own room. Figuring that Jon would probably be sleeping a while longer, she slipped into the old shirt she usually slept in and crawled into bed.  
  
"Alan?" Jonathan's voice calling hesitantly through the connecting door woke her for the second time that morning. "Alan, are you decent?" She really didn't want to face him; not after last night. But, although tempted to continue feigning sleep, she decided to be honest.  
  
"Just let me pull on some breeches Jon," she called back. "I'll let you in; give me just a minute." She pulled breeches and a loincloth on underneath the shirt, tucked it in, and opened the door. Jon looked slightly nervous, standing in the doorway. "Everything okay Jon?" she asked, suddenly worried.  
  
"Yes," he said vaguely, not really listening. His blue eyes were fixed on her face.  
  
"Do you need to talk to me?" she asked, beginning to feel nervous as well. She realized she didn't really want to know the answer to that question.  
  
"Yes," he said, eyes still fixed on hers. "Listen, Alanna, I-" She jumped at a knock on the door.  
  
"Alan," Gary's voice called through. "Are you awake?"  
  
"Sure Gary," she called back, thankful for the interruption. Jon walked back into his room. "What do you want?"  
  
"I need you to teach me that disarm you used on me the other day," he admitted ruefully. "Even Raoul can use it on me without a thought, and you're so good-" He let his voice trail off hopefully.  
  
"I'll be out in a minute, Gary," she called, shutting the connecting door. "Just let me get dressed." Quickly she slipped out of the old shirt and into her corset, another shirt and a tunic. Grabbing Lightning, she opened the door. Her overlarge friend waited for her outside. Grinning, she smacked him lightly with the flat of the blade. "Prepare for pain," she said in a solemn tone. The effect was somewhat spoiled by her grin. Walking off to the practice yards, she felt slightly guilty for abandoning Jon like that. 'But,' she reasoned. 'It's not like I'd do anything but stare and answer in monosyllables. I CANNOT face him after- she didn't follow up on that thought, due to the face that Gary was already inquiring as to the origin of the faint blush spreading across her cheeks. 'I'll have to face him eventually, but not now.'  
  
A/N So what do you think? 


	2. Jonathon POV

Jon  
  
Jonathan woke up slowly. He'd had a number of strange dreams; they felt almost real. But, due to the fact that his squire was nowhere to be seen, they had not been fact, only fantasy. He sighed. He'd had a fairly dreamless night except for one dream, prominently featuring Alanna and a walk in the gardens, culminating with something he wouldn't go into details with. Unsure of what to do, he dressed and knocked on Alanna's door. "Alan," he said hesitantly, unsure of how to face Alanna after his dreams of the night before. "Alan, are you decent?"  
  
"Just let me pull on some breeches," she called back through the door. "I'll let you in; give me just a minute." There was the sound of someone getting out of bed. Minutes later, his red-haired squire opened the door. She hadn't bound her breasts, seeing as it would serve no purpose since he already knew her secret. 'Mithros, she's beautiful,' he thought, somewhat nervous. 'I think- I think I love her,' he realized with a shock. Some of his nervousness must have betrayed itself on his face, for she asked, concerned "Everything okay Jon?"  
  
"Yes," he answered, not listening to her, focusing instead on her beautiful amethyst eyes. 'How could I not be okay with you standing right in front of me?'  
  
"Do you need to talk to me?" she asked. It was an opening to confess what he was feeling. So, he took it. 'Odd that girls don't usually make me nervous, yet she has me shaking.'  
  
"Yes," he said, still staring into those beautiful eyes. "Listen, Alanna, I- " She jumped at a knock on the door.  
  
"Alan?" Gary's voice called through the door. "Are you awake?" Figuring this would be a good time to leave, Jon slipped back into his room. Moments later, the door was shut. There was the sound of a door opening and closing and voices traveling down the hall.  
  
When the voices were gone, he opened his door and stepped out into the hall. Within minutes of his arrival in a main hallway, there was Lady Delia, clinging to his arm. With surprise, he realized that he was not in the least attracted to the woman who he'd chased for the better part quite a few months. 'Alanna was right,' he realized. 'She was just toying with me.' Deciding he had better things to do, he detached himself from her clinging arms and empty words and walked over to the practice yards. Standing in the shade, neither Alanna nor Gary noticed him. He watched them laughing together, Alanna disarming Gary for what was apparently not the first time, Gary attempting to return the favor and falling in the dust, courtesy of his squire's foot hooking around Gary's ankle with a quick pull.  
  
"What are you doing Jon?" Raoul asked.  
  
"Nothing," he answered. "Alan has the day off, and I have nothing to do." Raoul grinned at him.  
  
"Me neither," he admitted cheerfully. "Want to see if Gary and Alan want to come down to the Dancing Dove?"  
  
"Sure, why not," Jon replied, hope rising slightly. 'Maybe I can get Alanna alone, just maybe.'  
  
A/N Well, should I continue. 


	3. Evasions

Evasion  
  
Due to Raoul's suggestion, Jon soon found himself sitting at a table in the Dancing Dove. George and Alanna were talking -or rather Alanna was sitting, very carefully looking everywhere but him (he wondered why) and George was trying to persuade her into a conversation- Raoul was talking to Gary and he was simply sitting there. He watched Alanna, trying very hard to be discreet about it.  
  
"Jon, are you sure everything's okay?" Raoul asked after several minutes of him simply sitting there. "Did something happen last night? Last I saw, you were leaving the ballroom with Lady Delia on your arm. She came back in a few minutes later and set about trying to charm every knight there. Did something happen?" Alanna's head -which had been staring towards the back wall in her quest to avoid eye contact with her knight-master- jerked up suddenly, a look of- was it- fear?  
  
"Nothing happened," Jonathan said. "Delia saw Roger and left with him. Nothing happened last night." Though I wish dreams were real, he thought, looking at his squire, who had relaxed a little. George's eyes flicked from Jon to Alanna and back again, so quickly that Jon wondered if anyone else had seen it.  
  
"I have to go," Alanna said quickly. "I have something I need to do back at the palace."  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?" Gary asked. "You seem out of sorts too." Alanna put on a very falsely bright smile.  
  
"Everything's fine," she said, in a voice that clearly said that everything is not fine at all. Once she'd left the Dove, Jon, seeing an opportunity, stood.  
  
"I don't trust my squire's word," he said quickly. "I'll go see if he'll tell me anything; if it's just his knight-master, maybe he'll talk." He left before anyone could object.  
  
Once in the street, he caught up with Alanna easily. He made a grab for her arm and missed, fingers brushing her arm slightly. "Alanna," he said quietly. "Is something wrong?"  
  
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Jon grabbed for her arm. She tried to avoid it, but was not quite fast enough, and his fingertips just brushed her arm, sending a tingle up her spine. "Alanna," he said quietly, his blue eyes concerned. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"What do you think?" she said, slightly bitter with fear and frustration. His eyes mirrored his confusion.  
  
"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about," he said firmly. "Was it something that happened last night-" "Think back on it," she interrupted. "What do you think it was?" He stared at her, confusion etched in every plane of his handsome features.  
  
"All I know," he said slowly. "Is that after Delia left, I went straight to my rooms." She stared at him, shock showing itself clearly on her face.  
  
"You don't remember?" she asked incredulously.  
  
"Remember what?" he said, still confused. She took advantage of that moment to flee into the crowds. He'd lost her in seconds. Cursing under his breath, he trudged up to the palace, still wondering what in Mithros' name she was talking about. Unless the dream- but that was impossible. If it had been real, she would not have woken up in her room, fully clothed. She- never mind. He banished all those thoughts from his head and continued on his way to the palace.  
  
A/N HAHA!!! Review and I continue, leading up to the inevitable confrontation!! 


	4. Confrontation

A/N You all knew it was coming. So, here it is: the inevitable confrontation!!!!!! All you AJ lovers who were looking for FLUFF, here it is, coming right up. And this isn't even the half of it! (I can't believe I wrote this! Buri208 and milky way bar, DON'T KILL ME!!!).  
  
Confrontation  
  
"Alanna?" Jon knocked on his squire's door. "We really need to talk."  
  
"Not now," came the muffled reply.  
  
"Why not?" he demanded. The door swung open, revealing the short redheaded girl.  
  
"Because-" Alanna stopped for a second. Jon took advantage of her hesitation to push her gently inside her room and shut the door.  
  
"We really need to talk," he repeated. She slumped in a chair.  
  
"I knew I couldn't run," she said glumly. "I knew this was coming."  
  
"Funny," Jon said, light tone only partially covering his confusion and frustration with his squire. "What were you running from?" She looked up at him, eyes puzzled.  
  
"I can't believe you don't remember," she murmured, as though to herself. "I just can't believe it."  
  
"Can't believe I don't remember what?" Jon inquired angrily. "Dammit Alanna, what aren't you telling me!"  
  
"Think Jon," Alanna said irritably. "I really don't want to have to spell it out for you. What happened last night?"  
  
"I don't remember," he admitted.  
  
"A walk in the gardens," Alanna said quietly, studying his face. "A chance meeting with someone in the gardens. 'We were meant to be together.'" Comprehension dawned.  
  
"I thought-" he began. "I thought they were dreams."  
  
"Real as anything," she sighed. "Completely fact, unless we happened to have the same dream that caused me to sleepwalk into your room." A faint hope sparked in Jonathon's eyes, and Alanna dropped her eyes so that they didn't meet his.  
  
She didn't hear him walk towards her. His fingers suddenly brushed her jaw, lifting her face so her eyes met his. "I meant everything I said last night," he said softly. She jerked her chin out of his soft grip and stood.  
  
"Why?" she said harshly. "Why should I trust you? You could have any of the ladies at court. Why do you want your scrawny squire who no one else knows is a girl? Your squire who you can't flirt with, who you can't brag to your friends about- What would you want with me?" She stared at him, waiting for his answer.  
  
"Because-" he faltered, bracing himself. "Because, I think- I think I love you, Alanna." She stood there, stunned.  
  
"Wow," she said finally. "That was certainly not what I had expected to hear. But- I'm glad you said it." She finally lifted her eyes to his, and almost looked away again when she saw they were bright with emotions she really didn't want to name. But Jon wasn't about to let her look away again. Softly, he cupped her chin in his hand and slid his thumb along her jaw.  
  
"I'm not about to let you get away that easily," he said quietly. He slipped his other arm around her waist. Awkwardly, she put her hands on his chest, ready to push him away. Then, he lowered his face to hers and kissed her.  
  
With all of the passion of the night before, this kiss was slow and lingering. His lips and tongue caressed hers and -after a moment of hesitation- she returned the favor, exploring every inch of his mouth. Heat rushed through her body and she felt light-headed and a bit dizzy. But it was the sweet dizziness of exhilaration and joy.  
  
It was his hand slipping from her chin to the nape of her neck and then resting on her collarbone that jolted her back to the present. She pulled away from him, breathing heavily.  
  
"This cannot happen," she said as soon as she'd gotten her breath back. "I'm a squire, and you're my knight-master. We can't, Jon."  
  
"Nobody has to know," he said softly.  
  
"Nobody can," she pointed out. Suddenly, as though that was too much, she burst into hysterical laughter, falling against Jon, laughing into his shoulder. When she finally looked up at him, he stayed the last of her laughs by pressing his lips to hers.  
  
"We can," he murmured when she pulled away. "We absolutely can. Unless-" He hesitated. "You don't want to." He studied her face, anxiety growing in his eyes. What if-  
  
"Gods." She tore her eyes away from him. "I'm scared, Jon. It's that simple. Love scares me."  
  
"Why?" He was completely dumbfounded. "Love isn't scary. It's just- love," he finished lamely.  
  
"I don't know." She pulled her eyes away and backed away from him. "Jon-"  
  
"How can you fear it if you don't know what it is?" he asked softly. She stepped back.  
  
"Alan!" It was Gary. "Alan! You promised you'd help me with that counter!" Alanna froze, staring at Jon. Then, she turned and left the room. Jonathon slumped on her bed. Now what? 


	5. Finale

Happy Reviewer Responses: 

Wildphire: Hey Claire! Why didn't you tell me you got a penname? Anyway, here's your update!

Buri208: I don't normally say this to reviewers but you are my best friend so I can: shut up!! I can write what I want!!!!!!!!

Psycholioness13: Gary does seem to have a habit of popping up at the wrong time!

And much thankfulness to everyone else who reviewed!! 

A/N Ooh, happy happy! As is probably evident from the title, this is the last chappie. I actually finished this fic!!!!! This is the last chap of Aftermath. I'd like to thank all my reviewers, you guys rock (huggles reviewers)! Fluff, for all you fluff lovers out there. And I'm sorry for my sporadic updating; unacceptable behavior on my part. And I left you with cliffies too- *dodges thrown tomatoes* With no further ado, may I present the final chap of Aftermath. *bows as curtain pulls back and lights dim* Have fun and I'll see you in Bermuda!

Finale

Jonathon closed the door behind him with a soft click. _It was hopeless from the start, _he told himself. _You knew that_. To even think that Alanna would love anyone- that was like thinking that Roger was an evil traitor, trying to kill him and everyone else in the palace loyal to him and his parents and take the throne for himself. It was crazy! Hopelessly and undoubtedly crazy. _I wonder if Duke Baird has any advice on possible insanity,_ he wondered. _But then again, it wouldn't do for someone to overhear and think the Crown Prince was serious about being insane_. He sat on his bed and picked up his book, a biography of Emry of Harse. After flipping through a few pages, he set the book on the table next to him. He just couldn't concentrate. He rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes. Purple eyes swam up into his vision. 

_I'm scared, Jon_.

_It's that simple_._ Love scares me_.

_Why should I trust you? You could have any of the ladies at court_._ Why do you want your scrawny squire who no one else knows is a girl? Your squire who you can't flirt with, who you can't brag to your friends about- What would you want with me?_

_Gods,_ he thought. _I love her_._ I, Jonathon of Conte, love Alanna of Trebond, who every one thinks is named Alan, who's going to be the first lady knight in over a century_. 

A soft cry from the other room jerked him out of his thoughts. It was Alanna. She cried out again, and the sound was quickly cut off and muffled. His indecision could be seen in his face. Should he go- or not? Making a choice quickly, he stood, walked over to the door and walked into his squire's room, shutting it behind him.

"Alanna?" he asked quietly. He walked hesitantly over to her bed. "Alanna?" She was sleeping, that was clear from the way she was curled among the blankets. Her face was buried in a pillow, clearly the reason her cry had been cut off. Her knees were drawn up near her chest and her hands were on either side of her head, tense, her fingers digging into the soft pillow. Her cat, Faithful, was curled against her. When he saw Jonathon enter the room, the cat stood, stretched and jumped off the bed. Jonathon didn't see the cat leave the room as he was preoccupied by the expression on Alanna's face. Her brows were knitted and her face twisted in an expression that closely resembled fear. 

Jon sat next to her and shook her shoulder. "Alanna," he murmured. "Alanna- wake up." She stirred slightly and he shook her shoulder again. Suddenly, her left arm shot up and grabbed his forearm in a viselike grip. He bit back a curse and gently tried to pry her fingers loose. He noticed that her fingers were freezing cold and shivered as the cold seeped through his thin shirt. "Alanna." He tried again. "It's just me, Jon." She sat up and her eyes opened, fear reflected in the purple orbs. 

************************************************************************

She was drowning, drowning. She wasn't in the Chamber, she knew that, just drowning. Water pulled her down, and she struggled, weighed down by her heavy clothing and the metal blades on her feet –skates. She managed to get her head above the freezing cold water and cried out. Then she was pulled back under and she breathed in a quick gulp of air before her head went under. Suddenly, a hand reached and grabbed her shoulder. She grabbed in, desperation and fear giving her numbed hand the strength to grab. "Alanna." She heard her name called. "It's just me, Jon." She pulled her head above the water, and opened her eyes- 

Only to find herself back in her bedroom, her body trapped by blankets, Jon's blue eyes too close to hers. "Alanna?" he said worriedly. "Are you alright?" She looked into those concerned blue eyes and felt a surge of nervousness that had nothing to do with her dream.

"Bad dream," she said quietly. "I was-" She faltered. "I was drowning." Suddenly, she realized that his upper arm was trapped by her hand. She let go hurriedly, a faint blush on her cheeks. "Sorry." 

"It's fine." Alanna found herself wishing that he would move his face. Those blue eyes were too close and her mind supplied much too detailed memories of last night and- She shook her head hurriedly, trying to erase the memories. They couldn't- she couldn't- and- and she wanted it. She'd never admit it, but- she loved Jonathon. But there was no way he felt that way, the pessimistic side of her argued. But with those blue eyes so close and all the times he had said things to the contrary running through her mind, it was hard to keep that in mind. She heard him saying something and jerked herself back to the present.

"What did you say?" she asked. 

"I said," he said. "I should probably go." He stood and walked towards the door. Alanna sat, wrestling with herself. _Do I want him to go? And if he didn't-_ She disentangled herself from her blankets and walked over to him.

He had his hand on the doorknob when she grabbed his arm. "Don't." She suddenly found herself staring into his deep sapphire eyes. His eyes left hers for a second in a quick scan of her body. She flushed, acutely aware that she was wearing only the old shirt she slept in, cut low in the neck, dipping between her breasts, and short, coming only to mid thigh. 

"Why not?" he asked, voice soft. He stepped closer, wrapping his arms around her waist. She took a deep breath and wrapped her arms around him.

"I-" She stopped. "Don't ask me to tell you Jon, please." There was silence for a moment, then he tilted her chin up, so their eyes met.

And he kissed her softly, lips and tongue softly caressing hers. She was stunned for a moment- too stunned to react beyond the obvious: kiss him back. By the time she's gotten her senses completely back under her control, she didn't want to stop kissing him. 

"I love dreams," he said softly when he pulled away at last. "Especially when they well-"

"Aren't dreams," she finished. She laughed. He kissed her lips, staying the rest of her laughter. Her hands were by this point, tangled in his hair. His hands- one of them ran up and down her spine, sending tingles up her back. The other was working on unbuttoning her shirt.

She opened her eyes and met his. Her fear was beginning to resurface. _But,_ a nasty part of her mind murmured. _Since when has that ever stopped you before?_ Jonathan pulled her inside his room and shut the door. 

"I love you, Alanna." His voice was so soft it was almost a whisper. She fought with herself internally, yet again debating. His eyes were overbright. _Please, please let her say yes!_ She suddenly buried her face in his shoulder.

"I love you." It was barely a whisper, and well muffled by his shoulder, but he heard the words he'd been straining for. _She loves me!_ It was the only time she'd ever say that to him, but once was enough. He lowered his head and kissed her temple.

"Really?" _Please don't let it have been a fluke-_

By way of an answer, she raised her head. Standing on her toes, she pressed her lips to his. He put his hand behind her neck and deepened the kiss. 

Neither of them pulled away that time. And they didn't speak again until much, much later. But then again, that is the way it should be when one is in love. Words are unnecessary. They don't need words.

A/N YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm done!!!!!!!! And I'm sorry for letting down all you fluff lovers- I felt too pervish writing what came after. So I ended it there. Hopefully, you all could figure out what came next. And if you couldn't- you probably shouldn't be reading this. Until the next ficcie! Zhai'helleva! ~Queen's Own


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